


Zoe's Extraordinary Playlist

by BeccatheBiscuitBaker



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Bisexual Zoe Murphy, Connor/Evan centric, Cynthia Murphy Is a Good Mother, F/F, F/M, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Ill make a playlist eventually, Larry Murphy Tries (Dear Evan Hansen), M/M, Matchmaking, Music, Singing, Zoe Murphy Tries, Zoe sucks at matchmaking, gay evan hansen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-02-19 09:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22008457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeccatheBiscuitBaker/pseuds/BeccatheBiscuitBaker
Summary: Ever since she got that MRI, Zoe has been hearing people's inner most thoughts...via musical numbers only she can see.
Relationships: Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Connor Murphy & Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 20
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> YES I DID THIS BECAUSE OF THE SHOW! I HAD TO!

When she woke up, Zoe hoped that the day would be different. That she wouldn't hear the songs.

Although she was getting better about controlling it.

She walked down the stairs, glancing around the kitchen. Connor had his head in his arms, face down on the table. Cynthia was passing around food.

Zoe heard music in her ears and she looked up, it was her mother. She was looking at Connor.

"What's wrong with me?" Cynthia sang. "Ask me for help, ask me for hugs. Yeah stuff sucks, why couldn't it _just_ be drugs?"

Zoe pondered making the song disperse. But Cynthia was never this direct towards Connor.

"I try to give you love," Cynthia continued. "I try to give you space. You roll your eyes so hard, they're gonna roll right off your face."

Zoe was taken aback when Larry stood up and joined in the song.

"What's wrong with me?" The couple sang. "Why are you mad? Why do we fight?"

"Why can't I?" Cynthia hummed.

"Why can't I?" Larry sighed.

"Do anything right?" Cynthia whispered.

Then she looked to both children.

"Someday you'll have children too" she laughed. "And then baby wait and see. You'll be worshipped for years, and then they'll turn three." She looked down, "And everything's wrong with me."

The song ended with some humming and Zoe snapped out of it. Larry was scrolling his phone. Cynthia was back in the kitchen. No one had heard anything, like usual.

It kinda sucks, knowing what everyone is thinking.

School is always worse than home. Every time she hears music she silenced it instantly. Stupid teenagers. Constantly thinking. Ugh.

Zoe went to talk to Alana, her best friend. She had yet to hear Alana's thoughts put into song. It was a relief to be honest, but that didn't mean she wasn't curious.

"Hey Lana," Zoe called, approaching.

"Hi," Alana sighed. "So, I made a concept design for the posters for your next concert. I though about asking your brother to do the drawings, since he's kind of an artist."

Always direct.

Zoe was handed a sheet of paper and honesty, besides the blank spots where they needed art, she loves it. "

"Yeah," Zoe nodded. "These look fantastic. But yeah, needs some drawings."

Alana beamed. So she smiled back.

"Lets go ask them," Alana said. "He's talking to Evan."

Zoe didn't know who Evan was, but when she saw her brother actually talking to someone else casually, she had to go over. No questions.

As they approached Zoe heard music again. She wondered if it was Connor or the Evan kid.

Wait...She knew this song. Holy shit which one of them was singing it?

When Evan jumped up and took one of Connor's hands she got her answer.

"I'm gay!" Evan sang, looking at Connor. "Gay means happy. I'm feeling gay today see my fingers snapping-"

Zoe held back a snort and ended the song. She knew how the song went. Holy carp this guy was either trying to come out of he had a thing for her brother.

"Hey Connor," Alana called, approaching confidently. "Can I ask a favor of you?"

Connor gave them a flare that showed he was paying attention.

"So, the jazz band has a concert coming up," Alana explained. "I was hoping you could give us some drawings for the posters that will be put up around the school."

Zoe gave her brother the current poster. He scrunched up his nose but nodded his head.

"Thanks bro," Zoe hummed. "Uh, later Evan."

The two girls walked away and Alana smiled at her. She smiled back. Alana had a contagious smile. Well, and she, unlike her classmates, didn't have fantasies of singing to people she liked.

"Class?" Alana asked.

"Yeah," Zoe nodded. "Thanks."

Zoe isn't expecting Connor to be sitting on the counter at two in the morning. She wonders if he's high. But she hears rock music start to play and she sighs, letting the song play.

"I know I'm dumb!" Connor sings. "I know I'm ugly! I know that he is not!"

Shoes genuinely surprised that Bullet isn't playing for the fifth time this week. At least this isn't suicidal.

"I know if I were him I'd hate me, I hope that he does not! Oh I hope that he does not have me yet. I hope that he does not."

Connor? A love song? A "he?" Oh boy she is learning today.

The music is soft now, "Because I try, and I try, to change myself. But my back's against the wall. And I don't deserve all the coolness of him. I don't deserve Evan at all!"

HOLY MOTHER OF RAINBOWS CONNOR HAS A CRUSH!

Connor...has a crush...

"Oh my god," Zoe whispered, noting that she stopped the song when she spoke. "You're gay!"

Connor snapped his head up, "What?"

That's not a good "what." She still tried to calm her brother.

"I said you're gay," Zoe repeated. "Or at least not straight."

Connor got up, "You don't know shit."

"I'm bi," Zoe said firmly. "Okay? You don't need to lie to me."

Connor eyed her, seeing if she was lying, "How did you figure it out?"

"I just...knew."

Connor nodded again. He left after that, but she trusted that his silence meant there was a new small amount of trust between them.

Remember how Zoe said that Alana had yet to break into song? Well apparently Alana wasn't having a good day, because the moment she walks over music starts.

"What's wrong with me?" Alana belts out. "Different boss, the same old song. I try so hard!" She took in a quick breath, "Is that what's wrong? It's like all I do is plan, for joy I don't get to feel."

Alana turns towards her, "I'm whoever you want, is that my only appeal? Who am I really?"

Zoe ends the song with a thought, "What's wrong?"

"I'm tired is all," Alana assured. "Class?"

"Yeah I-"

More music. She turns toward the source. It's Connor and his friend again. She listens in for Connor's sake.

"Hey, Mr. No-Name-Kid," Connor sings, staring at his friend. "So who might you be? And could you fight for me? And hey, could you face the crowd? Could you be seen with me and still act proud?"

Its really cute seeing Connor all happy, even if it's really only in his and Zoe's heads.

"Hey, could you hold my hand? And could you carry me through no man's land? It's fine if you don't agree. But I would fight for you, if you would fight for me."

Zoe ends the song and quickly starts walking with Alana. For some reason only about a second passes when Zoe is listening to the playlist of her life. She sometimes gets looks for gazing.

Then it hits her, the perfect plan. She's going to set the two of them up! She vows to herself that by the end of the month Connor and Evan will be an item.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't put together very well because I don't know the actual plot of the show, I'm just taking the idea and letting my imagination come out of the cave.
> 
> List of songs:  
> What's Wrong With Me? (Reprise) ~Kerry Butler & Ashley Park  
> I'm Gay ~Thomas Sanders  
> Lisa ~Katerina Rose Dideriksen  
> What's Wrong With Me? (Reprise) ~Kerry Butler & Ashley Park  
> Fight For Me ~Barrett Wilbert Weed


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, but listening to The Wittlest Minotaur is so motivating for some reason...

So...first step in setting up her brother with his clearly pining best friend...confirming said friendship.

"Yo, Con-Man, wassup bro?"

Connor looked ready to flee.

"What?"

it wasn't really a whisper, but there was fear in Connors voice.

"Look, I just wanted to talk to you-"

Connor approached, "No. Okay. I'm helping design your poster, I owe you nothing."

Connor started to leave.

"Where are you going?"

Connor didn't answer.

Now or never, "Where? Evan's?"

That stopped him, "It's not like anyone else tolerates me."

"I tolerate you," she said.

Connor gave her a _'yeah right'_ look before walking out the door.

She was not good at her job.

But hey, Connor confirmed the best friends thing.

Connor was fighting with their parents. Zoe had locked herself in her room to keep out of it. She heard stomping on the stairs and a door slam across the hall. She got up and didn't hesitate to walk into her brothers room. Music hit her ears instantly.

"You keep on turning pages," Connor's voice sang. "For people who don't care, people who don't care about you. And still it takes you ages! To see that no one's there, see that no one's there, see that no one's there. Everyone's gone on without you."

Zoe cut the music off. Connor was glaring at her.

"What?"

Zoe knew not to mess with Connor, especially after fights like what had just happened. So why she was trying to reason with him, she wasn't sure.

"Look, I am trying to make this work," Zoe said. " But you literally blew me off mid conversation-"

"Go away," Connor growled.

"No. Okay, this isn't going to work if you keep ignoring me. I'm trying to _help you_. I'm trying to be a sister."

"You don't like me," Connor laughed. "Stop messing with me!"

"You're my big brother, of course I like you."

"You don't know shit," Connor cried. "You especially don't know me."

"Don't know you? I don't? I know everything about you!"

Connor glared at her, "Bull."

"You're not straight," Zoe said calmly. "You need help and want help, but our parents are awful about helping you. You're into your best friend, Evan What's-His-Face. You think you're unlovable because everyone sees the stoner persona you hide behind. I KNOW EVERYTHING!"

"Shut up!"

"You actually care about school, it's the students you hate. The agriculture teacher tried to assault you-"

"Wait, who told you tha-"

"I KNOW EVERYTHING CONNOR! YOU SING TO ME! EVERYONE DOES!" Zoe dropped to her knees, shes not sure when she started crying. "I know it's fucked up, but people sing their thoughts to me. You were belting out Fight For Me a few days ago at Evan."

The tears must have done something to Connor. He dropped down next to Zoe, an awkward arm around her shoulders, "Hey, uh, stop crying."

She wiped her eyes, "I'm not lying, the MRI, for when I fractured my arm. Something happened. Idunnowhathappenedtome!"

Connor grabbed her hands, "I believe you, calm down."

"You suck at this," Zoe whispered, sniffing.

"So...you...uh...are magic?"

"No," Zoe sighed, sitting on her brother's bed. "Uh, when people have strong emotions, they break into song. I'm the only one who can see it."

"Oh."

"You're a train wreck by the way."

"Yeah, figured as much."

Zoe sniffed again, "Ugh, you have no idea how many times I've tried to brush you off. Just ignore everything. It...it's difficult."

Connor nodded, "So...you weren't messing with me when you said you were bi?"

"No you idiot," Zoe sighed. "I was trying to connect and break the ice."

"Alright, my bad. So...you know I like Evan."

"Oh, it was real cute, honestly," Zoe smiled. "You just...smiled. It was nice."

"Oh. Okay."

"Yeah, I mean, I've seen weirder."

"Do you know if he likes me?"

Maybe she should have given Connor exactly what he wanted to hear, but that's not how love worked. At least not to her.

"I don't, sorry."

Connor nodded, unsuccessfully hiding his disappointment.

"Look, there's always time to figure that out," she reassured. "For now I just want to help set you two up. If possible."

"Why would you want to help me?"

Zoe gave him a look, "Because you're my brother? Because I want you to be happy?"

"Oh, right."

The next step in her plan was befriending Evan.

"Hey Zoe," Alana greeted. "How's jazz band going?"

She's been going to class, but for once it's not really on her mind, "It's going okay."

"Cool," Alana walked in pace with her.

"Uh, do you know Evan?"

"Evan Johnson or Evan Hansen?"

"Uh...the one that hangs around my brother?"

"Ah, Hansen. We're acquaintances. Why?"

"Uh, I just, wanted to know who he was, because...Connor doesn't have friends?"

"Oh, well, he has a fairly quiet reputation. I'm pretty sure he has anxiety, but I don't think that it's right to assume things like that. He sat behind me in pre-calc last year. I don't know much more. I think he likes science? He mentioned falling out of tree over the summer."

"Plants? Oh, okay."

Thankfully, she was awful at taking care of her plants. She honestly didn't know what she was doing wrong.

"Uh, it's Evan, right?"

Evan doesn't seem particularly excited that she sat next to him in advanced chem. Still, she's going to stick to her plan.

"Uh...Evan. Yes! My name is Evan."

"Okay, cool," she sets her stuff down on the desk next to his, "Do you mind being my partner for the lab? I'm totally struggling."

"Uh, yeah, I mean...I'd like that."

So throughout the lab Zoe pulls bits of information out of her brother's friend. Evan does actually know about plants, so that's good.

"Hey, are you busy after school?"

"Uh, no."

Zoe squeezes his shoulder, "Great. Can you come over and look at my plants? They aren't doing well and I'm not sure what I'm doing."

Evan just nods this time.

"Cool, you know my brother right? He's gonna be in the car too."

"Oh, Connor? Yeah."

The blush that hits Evan's face confirms the crush.

"Awesome."

Connor looks slightly pissed when he sees Evan in the passenger seat.

"Hey bro," Zoe greets. "Evan is coming over to look at my plants, and since he's the guest he gets the front seat. Okay?"

Connor complies, but once they're home he pulls her aside.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting to know him? So I can get you two together? Duh."

"You are going to destroy me."

"Yeah, whatever. You'll be thanking me one day."

She leaves Connor behind and shows Evan to her room.

"What did you do to the plants?" Evan whispered, horrified.

"I don't know!" she cried. "I'm watering them every other day."

"The cactus should only be watered every other _month,_ " Evan exclaimed. "And everything else should only be watered if when you touch the dirt and nothing sticks to your finger. That means the soil is dry."

"Oh."

Evan examines the plants some more and then turns, not sure what to do next.

"So, Evan," Zoe sit on her bed, gesturing to the desk. "Tell me about yourself."

"Uh...what?"

"Like...okay this will sound like I'm interested in you, but I'm not. Romantically saying, but like...are you dating anyone?"

"Oh, uh, no. Not even close."

"But..."

"But?"

"Do you like anyone?"

"No."

That's way too forced to be true.

"You lie," she teased.

"Well, it's not _exactly_ your business."

"I just want to know who, okay? Sorry that I'm curious."

"I'm sorry, I just don't want to talk about it."

This was going to be more difficult than she thought.

It took three whole weeks, but she finally got her brother and Evan to acknowledge their feelings. Even if it was accidentally

She walked into the living room, Connor was sprawled out on the couch.

"Hey bro," Zoe sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Talking."

She didn't know who, but she didn't really care. She saw musical numbers in her head. Who cares if her brother talks to himself.

"What about."

"Evan."

"Ah. Dude, you've really just gotta man up. Like, I can't keep trying to set this up."

"What?!"

Evan's head popped out from under the coffee table. What was he doing there?

"OH SHIT!" Zoe gasped.

"ZOE!"

"Okay," Zoe sighed. "Ev, my brother is crazy into you. Connor, Evan is into you. Talk and be gay and whatever."

She left the room, but stayed close. It didn't take long for the music to start playing in her ears.

"You are the person I want to be with every day," Evan's voice sang. "And this is something that I've been afraid to say."

Oh, this was so cute, she would let the music stay for a little bit.

"You're the guy I am so kinda into," Evan continued. "The guy I am totally into. This feeling is new."

She wasn't familiar with the song, which made it more interesting. She peeked around the corner and saw them holding hands. AWW!

"Connor Murphy, I love you."

She stopped the music and let out a squeal. Evan looked at her like she was crazy, Connor pointed to his head with a questioning look. She nodded before bouncing up to her room.

God, she was so happy fro them!

After a few weeks she realized how awful her brother having a boyfriend was. She and Connor had actually gotten close, and Evan was a genuine nice person, so now she was without two friends. They were totally absorbed with each other.

At least Alana caught up her crappy mood. They went out for pancakes and they talked about it. It was nice.

"Look, they're in lust, they'll figure it out," Alana chuckled. "Besides, you've got me."

"I dunno I guess I'm just jealous," Zoe mumbled. "My brother having someone makes me wonder why _I_ don't have someone. Am I gross or something?"

"No, absolutely not," Alana assured. Music started and Alana looked her in the eye.

"I'll tell you what I see," Alana sang. "Plastic don't shine, glitter don't shine, rhinestones don't shine the way you do.You are so real. You are so rare. I see you there, I see you."

Holy shit...

"I see stars, so many stars tonight. you could make diamonds dull, you are so beautiful. I see stars, you shine as bright as day! I will look out for you, we'll light each others way. We're all stars."

...Her best friend had a crush on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> List of songs:
> 
> Drift Away~ Sarah Stiles
> 
> The Play~ Be More Chill Original Cast
> 
> I See Stars~ Erika Henningsen, Mean Girls Original Broadway Cast


	3. Chapter 3

Zoe isn't sure how to handle her new situation. Does she even _like_ Alana. Well, sure she's bi, but that doesn't mean that she's attracted to every girl and every guy.

She decides to go to her brother.

Zoe knocks on the door and Connor opens it, he's still cautious, their relationship isn't fully steady yet.

"I need advise," Zoe explains.

Connor welcomes her into the room, perplexed.

Zoe plops down on the foot of the bed, her brother next to her.

"Oh, Evan's coming over, don't like...let mom scare him."

She nods, "Okay, so...what would you do if you found out that your best friend had a crush on you?"

Connor gave her a look, "Well, Zoe, I'm not _experienced_ in the art of my best friend liking me so I'm afr--"

Zoe swats his arm, "Oh shut up and help me!"

Connor sighs, "Do you like her?"

She shrugs.

"Well figure that out first, then you've got this," Connor offers. "If you like her back ask her out. If not, let her down gently."

Zoe nods, gets up and goes downstairs to do her chores. She's shocked to see that Connor's are done, usually she has to do all of them.

The doorbell rings and Zoe answers, "Hey Evan."

He smiles, "Hi! Um, are you okay? Because like, I know that I haven't been spending time with you and I'm a horrible friend for that so--"

She silences him, "It's fine, just don't make out with him in front of me. You and I can go out for ice cream this weekend, okay?"

Evan gives a single nod.

Connor comes up from behind and grabs Evan's hand, "He's mine now, bye bitch!"

Zoe rolls her eyes, "Okay, okay."

When she gets up for school, she almost crashes into Evan.

"Jesus fuck! What the hell are you doing here?"

Evan flinches, "Connor wasn't feeling great, I stayed over. I'm sorry."

Zoe shakes her head, "No, dude, it's fine. You scared me, that's all."

Evan nods his head, turning back towards Connor's room. Zoe spots a hickey on his neck, but she doesn't say anything. It would just make him worry.

Does she like Alana? God, life wasn't supposed to be this difficult. Okay lets make a list.

Alana is pretty, Zoe admires that she has flawless skin, but she wouldn't consider that attraction. Beauty isn't everything. (She always gets pimples in her hairline, and she has a **_HUGE_** pimple popping problem.)

Alana is a _fucking genius_.

Alana has a fairly flat chest. (OKAY LOOK ZOE DOES NOT AND SHE HATES THEM SO MUCH! Like...at 14 she was already 32 D-Cup, AND THEY GREW EVEN MORE!)

Alana is the most devoted friend she's ever had. (Like, when Connor was in the hospital and she wasn't allowed to share what happened, Alana fucking brought her candy and coffee and sherbet and Zoe fucking adores sherbet so _fucking_ much. And Alana didn't ask any questions.)

Okay...maybe she likes Alana a little bit. God, she feels like a pervert.

Zoe didn't have time to straighten her hair for school, she was lost in thought for so long, and now it's a poofy fucking mess.

"Hi Zoe," Alana greets.

"Oh, hi," Zoe mumbles.

Static causes her hair to stick to her neck and make her itchy.

"Bad hair day," Zoe mutters, grabbing her textbooks.

"Oh, I can help you," Alana perks up. She gestures to her bun. "I've got time."

"Oh, thank you," Zoe sighs.

They walk to homeroom and Zoe hands Alana her the comb she keeps in her pencil pouch.

Her hair is brushed, pulled off her neck, and Alana asks for elastic bands. Zoe offers her wrist that is covered with them. In five minutes Zoe has two little buns resting on her head.

"Oh," Zoe uses her phone to look at herself. "It's awesome, thank you Lana."

"Uh, I had a question for you, actually," Alana blurts.

Zoe makes eye contact. Please be asking her out. Please make this easier. But then of course music starts playing. She gave no fucks, so Zoe stopped it before she could hear Alana's feelings.

"Uh, wanna go get coffee tonight?" Alana asked. "There's this diner that my dad took me to and I thought you would like it."

"Yes!" Zoe says, maybe being a bit too loudly.

Alana smiles, "Great! When do you want to meet?"

"I'll pick you up. Around...seven?"

"Sounds great," Alana hums.

The girl bounces out of the room, going to her own classroom. The bell rings and Zoe watches her brother take his seat in front of her, she used to hate having the same homeroom, but now she didn't mind.

"How're things with Evan?" She asks.

Connor smiles, "Great, I think. We haven't argued yet."

"That is good," Zoe nods. "He's very comfortable with you, I mean, I saw that hickey on his neck you gave him."

Connor laughs, "I don't have the heart to tell him. It'll just make him anxious, and he has that enough on his own."

Zoe pats his shoulder, happy for him. Happy that he looks so much better. He's not even wearing an over sized sweatshirt, just a t-shirt. His eyes aren't bloodshot, he doesn't appear to be stoned, he's not quivering, just...surprisingly calm.

It's a good thing.

"How about Alana?" Connor asks, turning to face his sister. "I saw her bounce out of here with a huge smile."

"Uh, she asked me out, I said yes."

"So you like her?"

Zoe sighs, "I do. At least a little bit. And I'd like to see if it goes any further."

Connor nods, "Cool, just don't come on too strong and you'll be fi--"

"Mr. Murphy, the bell has rung. No talking," their homeroom teacher snaps. "Maybe you should go ask your teachers for help with all of your missing assignments."

Connor rolls his eyes, turning back around in his seat.

"Detention."

Zoe's head snaps up, "He didn't even do anything!"

"You want to join him?" she asked. "I thought you were better then that Zoe."

Zoe silences herself, unsure of what to do. She pulls out her English novel, finishing the chapter that was homework. Connor's arm reaches back and places a slip of paper on her desk. Zoe looks at the doodle and manages to stifle any laughter. It's a fairly well drawn sketch of the teacher, her text bubble says "bitch bitch bitch all day."

She thinks that Connor's going to be okay.

Zoe is on her third outfit since she got home. Connor is supposed to be helping, but he's having a selfie contest with Evan.

"Connor!"

He looks up, "You look fine?"

"You're useless! Help me!"

"It's a fucking coffee date Zoe!"

Zoe digs in her closet and finds a skater skirt she bought sophomore year. It's black, but cute. She kicks her foot at Connor but he moves his legs.

"Connor help!"

Finally he puts down his phone and sits her in the desk. Connor digs around before returning with ripped jeans shorts and a tight black top that sits off the shoulders. It's cute as hell.

"Thank you!" She grabs the clothes and changes in the bathroom. When she returns Connor throws her a pair of socks that go to her just above her knees.

"It'll look good with your white sneakers, trust me," Connor mutters, back to messaging Evan.

Zoe grabs the shoes and tries them on. Yes! So cute! Zoe sits at her desk and applies her shimmery lip balm and a small amount of eye shadow. Connor casually digs in her bin of nail polish and pulls out the black.

"No," Zoe protests, snatching the color back. She grabs a dark blue that has a tiny amount of glitter. It looks practically black, "Evan will like this one more."

Connor doesn't say anything, but accepts the new color. Before Zoe can stop herself she throws her arms around her brother.

"Wh--"

"Shut up," she whispered. "I love you, okay? I'm so happy for you, if you need help please let me know."

Connor is still stiff, but he gives her a pat on the shoulder, "Okay."

Zoe straightens herself up before heading to her car. She could do this.

Zoe loves the coffee place. Alana and her have been sipping on their drinks quietly for about five minutes. They both can't find anything to say. Zoe is starting to question of this is a date or not. Alana hasn't changed since school, but her nails are now a beautiful shade of purple.

That make eye contact quickly before looking away again.

Woman up goddamnit!

"Lana?"

The other girl perks up, "Yeah?"

Zoe can't look her in the eye, "Is...is this a date?"

Allen's eyes widen, "Oh, no."

What...

Had she read the whole situation wrong?

But...Alana had the song. She had those feelings.

Were they just friend feelings?

"Okay."

Alana frowns, "Why did you think that?"

She hadn't been that interested, why does this bother her?

She just...wanted to be wanted?

"Oh, uh, Connor called it a coffee date earlier. Sorry."

"It's okay."

Zoe crashes into bed almost immediately when she gets home. Not only was she stupid, but she was friendzoned.

Connor peaks his head in, "How'd it go?"

"I read the whole situation wrong," Zoe whispers. "I'm so stupid, of course she didn't like me."

"But...She does like you."

Zoe laughs, "No. God that was embarrassing."

"Are you okay?"

Zoe looks up at him, "No. But I will be."

Knocking on her door wakes Zoe up. She stumbles over and opens the door, Connor is waiting with Evan on the other side.

"Evan said you guys had plans," Connor sighed. "So get dressed and go have fun."

Evan gives a cheeky smile, and it makes Zoe feel better. She pulls on a sweatshirt crop-top and her favorite jeggings. Ties her hair in a braid, throws on sneakers and is ready to go.

Wait shit.

She runs back up to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Okay now she's ready.

Connor and Evan are in the middle of flirting when she walks back down.

"Ah, my eyes!" Zoe jokes crying.

"Oh fuck off," Connor laughs, pressing a kiss to Evan's forehead quickly before heading back to his room.

The two friends walk out to Zoe's car. Evan doesn't hesitate to put on his favorite playlist.

It's cute to see him bopping around in the car. Zoe gets why Connor likes him. And it's refreshing to have someone intentionally sing and dance around her.

"What kind of ice cream do you want?" Zoe asks, pulling up to the drive through.

Evan thinks for a moment, "Brownie, please."

Zoe orders what he asked for along with her usual cookie dough. Zoe has mastered eating ice cream in the car, so she never spills.

"Where do you want to go now? " Zoe asks again, stuffing face with a big spoonful.

"Uh, the mall? I don't really care. Are you okay?"

"I got friendzoned. It sucks ass."

Evan nods, "I feel that."

"What?"

"Before Connor and I were together, it felt like that. Like all my advanced were just brushed off as just friends. But I'm reality, we were both just scared of rejection."

Zoe let's that sink in while she drives. That _could_ be what had happened last night, but Zoe had straight up asked if it had been a date.

"Evan, how much money is in my wallet?"

Evan counts and tells her.

"Cool, I'm going to dye my hair. You in?"

Evan sputtered, "Do I look like the kind of guy to do that?"

Zoe sighed, "No, but you never know."

Zoe can't stop touching her hair. Evan has assured her that she looks good, but she's still questioning everything. She had gotten bi colored streaks out in her hair. The hairdresser had been so excited, apparently Zoe was her first person to request hair like that. It was overly expensive, but it was something that she couldn't risk looking bad.

"Oh, we should go in here," Evan said, pulling her into the Hot Topic. "Connor likes buttons."

Zoe rolls her eyes, but let's Evan do what he wants. She scans the shelves, not really looking for anything. She bumps right into another person.

"Oh my god!" Zoe yelps. "I'm so sorry-- Lana?"

"Oh, hi Zoe."

Zoe helps her off the floor. Music starts playing in her ears, she lets it stay this time.

"I'm astounded and nonplussed, I am filled with calculust! Does this girl work out, she must, all sweaty at the gym. Could that image be more hot, let me just enjoy that thought! School was rough but now it's not! 'Cause now there's her, it's all so simple! Stupid with love! But I can get it, watch this girl self educate. I learned math, so I can learn love. You wanna bet it? That I can get it? Just wait! Just wait. Just wait!"

The music ends and Zoe is actually shocked. What was Alana giving her these mixed messages for?

"I wanted to apologize for how I acted last night," Alana whispers. "I did think of the outing as a date, but when you asked me I thought you were upset with the idea. So I denied it. But to me it was a date, and even if that upsets you I need to accept my mistake and move on."

She...she had thought it was a date.

"I wanted it to be a date!" Zoe peeps. "Let's go out tonight!"

Alana jumps, "Really?!"

"Yeah! I'll meet you there. Just text me a location."

"Okay!"

Alana squeezes Zoe's wrist, just to ensure that this is reaity, and then she bounces out of the store. Zoe runs off to find Evan. She's has to get home to get ready!

Alana's date location is a karaoke cafe. It's really cute. The two order drinks so they don't get kicked out and they talk about how stupid they were. It's so releiving, having an actual date and not feeling so stupid.

Soon Zoe goes up for a song, just for fun.

"And there are voices all around! And you can never mute the sound! They scream and shout, I tune them out, then make up my own mind. Might still have voices in my head, but now they're just the normal kind. Voices in my head, but now they're the normal kind!"

She might not ever get rid of the singing, but it is a part of her now. Accepting is so much easier then trying to force everything out. She has an actual sound track to her life. It's like...

An amazing playlist.

Zoe's amazing playlist.

She really likes the sound of that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used:
> 
> Stupid with love~ Erika Henningsen
> 
> Voices in my Head~ Be More Chill cast


End file.
